THE CITI NEVER SLEEPS

December 20, 2009 at 11:07 am Leave a comment

Santa Claus is busy again.But who’s the naughty kid who wouldn’t get presents this year. Lots of candidates up for selection. One of them is Citigroup. See below for explanation (courtesy of A.Abelson)

Citigroup: “Today we announce a series of transactions to repay the $20 billion of TARP outstanding and terminate the asset guarantee we received from the U.S. Government.”

Translation: I am sick of working for $1 per year.

Citigroup: “Today we are strongly capitalized…”

Translation: We have diluted the shareholders by a factor of six.

Citigroup: “… efficient…”

Translation: We have cut the company in half.

Citigroup: “…and created a strong foundation for the future.”

Translation: We are working on a strategy.

Citigroup: “There are still economic challenges ahead…”

Translation: Forget about any kind of bonus.

Citigroup: “Over the past few months, I have visited many of you in the U.S and around the world…”

Translation: I am trying to avoid the home office.

Entry filed under: Investing. Tags: .

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